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[tadpoled]

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[tadpoled]

[Tav leans heavily on Gale the entire way out of the sewers, still a little wide-eyed as shock continues to fill the space where adrenaline propped him up. Once back at the Inn, his exhaustion and shock has only worsened. Everything becomes a blur until Gale asks him a question and Tav has something to focus on.

He's not sure he can remember all the details at the moment, not while his brain feels so fuzzy.]

I... I don't know.

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale frowns thoughtfully, giving Tav a long look before glancing out at their gathered companions — all looking restless and anxious, their eyes darting over to Tav often in their conversations.

Fair enough, with all that’s happened. But exhausting to experience.

When Shadowheart gives them a relatively clean bill of physical health, all their cuts and slashes mended, their bruises and everything else at least softened into dull aches, exhaustion finally settles deep in Gale’s bones.]

I think we ought to clean up and rest a bit, before anything else.

[It’s mostly for Tav, but the rest of them quiet for a moment before Astarion gently shoos them off so they don’t ruin the ambience any further with all the bile they’re sporting, to which Gale musters a mostly fond roll of his eyes.

Gale stands, steadier on his feet, and gently guides Tav upstairs to their private room.]

Why don’t we start with a bath first, and we can go from there. Will that be alright? I… [He trails off, pausing just inside their room, and turns to look at Tav again for a moment, his voice quiet as he brushes his fingers over Tav’s cheek. His voice trembles just slightly when he speaks again.]

I was terrified I’d never see you again. It would reassure me a little, to take care of you for a bit.

[tadpoled]

[Tav remains quiet in his thoughts, still unsure how or if he truly is cured. How he looked into the Fugue Plane and was pulled back at the last moment.

He allows himself to be guided upstairs and into their room. He blinks when Gale touches his face. Oh, right, they’re back at the Elfsong.

Taking a look at the blood stuck to both of them.] Bath should be nice.

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale brushes his lips to Tav’s forehead, and guides him to sit at the foot of the bed while Gale sets himself to preparing the bath.

Soon enough there’s water warming in the tub, towels set nearby, and Gale carefully helps Tav undress, his touch perfunctory and quick but gentle all the same.]

In you get. [Gale guides him into the water, shucking his own ruined robe before sliding in after with a strained sigh.] Is this alright? Once we… rinse the worst of it off, I’ll refresh the water and we can have a bit of a soak.

[tadpoled]

[Only after he’s helped into the tub does Tav seem to start coming back into awareness. He looks around for a moment or two, assessing where he’s at, before returning his gaze to Gale.

For the first time since dying, he sees Gale, truly sees him alive and well and quietly begins to sob.] ‘m sorry.

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale's eyes start to well as Tav sobs. He swallows hard, doing his best to steady himself as he gently starts to rinse Tav off.]

My dear, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I'm sorry I allowed myself to be fooled by that wretched creature.

[He sighs, taking one of Tav's hands in his own so and lifting it to his lips before pressing Tav's palm to his cheek.]

You saved me. You defied Bhaal and... [His breath catches, and he tugs Tav into his arms.] Gods, Tav, if I'd lost you I don't know what I would have done.

[tadpoled]

[Tav leans into Gale’s shoulder as his tears continue. He should have woken up earlier or never slept at all, he should have secured the camp better, anything to ensure Gale’s safety.

He didn’t, though, and Gale suffered for it.

Gale lifts one if Tav’s hands and Tav sits up enough to look at Gale, his bloodied face streaked with tears.]

She— she said she would kill you wearing my face. She tortured you, Gale.

[waterdhavianwizard]

Tav. [Gale reaches for a cloth and wets it, gently wiping Tav's face clean.] I am -- keenly aware, my dear.

I don't mean to be glib. I would gladly suffer the worst pains of the orb a thousand times over than sooner experience a fraction of what it was to be trapped with her ever again.

But I also watched you die. I watched... I saw Bhaal drain the blood from your veins. Felt your body go frigid in my arms. Had it not been for Mystra letting Elminster stabilize the orb, I am quite certain in that moment I might have wiped out the Gate and the Netherbrain with it.

[Gale tips Tav's head back gently, eyes dark and somber.] I doubt I'll ever forget Orin, but it does not overshadow how desperately lucky I feel to have you in my arms right now.

[tadpoled]

[Tav looks up at Gale, into his face, for possibly the first time since Bhaal attempted to end his life. His brows knit as Gale talks and cleans and Tav feels like the desperately lucky one to have Gale here with him.]

I cannot believe I subjected you to that. [To watching him die. Of course, he assumed Bhaal would kill him for rejecting his 'gift,' but he adrenaline from defeating Orin had driven the direct choice to die.

He'd been so tired of always worrying if he would kill someone, possibly Gale, in camp again, especially after Gale had been kidnapped. He's felt balanced on a knife edge for so long that the choice was natural.]

I'm sorry.

[waterdhavianwizard]

You subjected me to nothing. Orin did, as did Bhaal, in service of subjecting you to just as much suffering. To punish you for pursuing another path.

[He tugs Tav closer, rearranging them in the bath so Tav is settled between Gale's legs, back to his chest. He nudges him forward just slightly to wash Tav's back, his other hand tracing the patterns of freckles he's grown so fond of following.]

The misfortune of lovers in dangerous times may sometimes behaving that love turned against them, but there is nothing that could make me love you any less. If what Withers said is true -- and he seems to have no reason to lie -- then I do not want to overshadow the joy of your new beginning by lingering on what we cannot change.

[tadpoled]

[Tav settles in the new position, trying to rein in his tears. Feeling Gale's fingers move along his freckles triggers another well of tears. He came so close to never having this again.]

Gale.

[Tav's shoulders shake with the weight of his exhaustion and grief.]

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale tugs Tav back against him, burying his face in the curve of Tav's shoulder for a moment as he holds him tight. He tries to keep his voice light when he looks up again, but it quavers all the same.]

However am I meant to get you resting in bed, if I don't get you cleaned up first?

[He sets himself to the task with care, pausing from time to time to cradle Tav against him when tears overtake one or both of them.

Eventually they're both at least clean enough they won't ruin the sheets, and Gale slides a hand in Tav's hair, tugging his head back just slightly to kiss the corner of his mouth.]

You look much more yourself.

[tadpoled]

Do I? [Tav asks as he shifts to better face Gale, now that they're mostly clean. The water around them is stained crimson from the blood washed off of them. Tav hates it, how it looks like Fel's blood when Bhaal emerged from the Outer Planes.

Unless Gale stops him, Tav will start to climb out of the tub, looking away from the water as much as he can.]

[waterdhavianwizard]

A good bath does wonders. [Gale nudges Tav's damp hair back from his face.] We'll have to sneak in a proper luxurious soak.

[Something a bit softer, more soothing than this grim cleanse. No matter how tender Gale tries to be, it's hard to ignore the perfunctory practicality of it: there is little sweetness in washing away such viscera. He waits for Tav to climb out and follows after, bundling Tav in a towel before he turns to deal with draining the tub.

He dumps their filthy armor in the tub once it's empty -- better to get it all out of sight and deal with it when they've had a chance to rest than to have it lurking in the corner as a grim reminder all evening, then gives his hands one last aggressive scrub in the washbasin. Maybe he'll just burn the robes.

Eventually, the room is back to some semblance of normal. Prestidigitation takes care of the last bit of mess. Hard to forget what they've been through, but at least they won't be confronted with some gruesome reminder every time they turn around.]

You should rest. [They both should, but: Gale is prone to fretting.] Is there something else you need?

[tadpoled]

[Tav leaves Gale to do all the extra work. As soon as he has a towel wrapped around him, Tav wanders into the bedroom, stopping just short of the bed they’d made love in numerous times the last time they were here together.

He eventually sheds his towel and lets it drop to the ground as he climbs into bed.

Gale’s voice echoes from the bathroom and Tav answers in almost a whisper.] A sleep spell or potion. Please.

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale feels as if he might break at Tav’s quiet voice, and when he slips back into the bedroom proper to find Tav already curled in bed, small and fragile, he falters for just a moment before climbing in after him.]

A spell. Of course, my dear.

[He settles into bed, drawing Tav into his arms again and tugging the blankets over them til they’re both ensconced, hidden away from the world and the events of the day by the quiet comfort of their room.

Gently, Gale strokes Tav’s hair, murmuring the spell loud enough for Tav to know it’s coming as Gale’s hand glows in gentle, familiar purple.]

[tadpoled]

[Tav remains curled up in bed until Gale joins him, tucking Tav up to him. Tav desperately needs sleep and the familiar incantation is a comfort as he slowly drops off into some much needed rest.

However, before he completely falls asleep, Tav murmurs,] I love you.

[waterdhavianwizard]

I love you too, Tav. [Gale kisses the top of his head as Tav slowly dozes off, doing his best to stay awake a little longer until he’s confident Tav is properly asleep. He takes a moment to cast sending just to let Astarion they’re alright and will regroup in the morning so no one worries, then settles himself more comfortably in bed with Tav and lets himself fall asleep.]

[tadpoled]

[For once, Tav doesn’t wrestle with nightmares or paranoia while he sleeps. No, instead he wakes up with the sun coming through the shutters, Gale tucked safely beside him. He sucks in a shaky breath before the last 48 hours since Gale was kidnapped hit Tav in the face. Stalking Orin, thinking Gale had escaped, racing after her and fighting her new form on his own. Dying while denying Bhaal and facing the Fugue Plane.

It’s still a bit too much to comprehend all at once. His heart and mind jolt awake and he goes to disentangle himself from Gale and the blankets. If asked, he’s ready with the excuse that he needs to relieve himself. Nevermind that he plans to use the privacy to try and wrap his mind around everything.]

[(Anonymous)]

[When he wakes up properly, Gale will realize how different tonight’s sleep with Tav is. Every stolen moment has felt like a gift, but no matter what efforts they took there was always the tension of the Urge — Tav’s struggle with it, and Gale’s anxiety about how best to support him… or to prepare for the worst case scenario.

Tonight he sleeps through, deeper than he has since before he freed the sliver of Netherese magic that lives in his chest. The relief of being alive, of Tav being alive manages to stave off any nightmares of his torment by Orin’s hand.

He stirs a little when Tav does, instinctively reaching out and curling into the warm spot Tav leaves behind, but he’s clearly still mostly asleep when he blinks blearily up at Tav with a drowsy mmkay, love you, hurry up before burying his face in Tav’s pillow with a soft sigh.]

since you accidentally anon’d

[tadpoled]

[Tav ducks into the bathroom and sees their bloodied armor in the tub first. He nearly darts back out, but for now his mind is churning with the sight of Gale on that altar bleeding, mixed with the swirl of the fugue plane.

He knows he should be grateful, ecstatic even to finally be free, but something still feels wrong. All three netherstones are in their grip, but Tav wants to take them and confront the netherbrain alone.

He’s tired of his friends and his love getting hurt because of him and Tav slides down the wall to bury his face in his hands.]

oh no!! thx don’t even know how i did that

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale wakes properly not long later, when his sleepy searching for another body next to him proves fruitless too long to ignore. He starts awake when he realizes Tav’s missing, stumbling a little in his haste to get out of bed and clutching his chest in relief for a moment when he spots him in the washroom.

He crouches near Tav, careful not to crowd him too quickly, and though his voice is rough with sleep the concern is evident.] My love, how long have you been in here? Are you still hurt?

[tadpoled]

Since I woke up. [Tav keeps his voice down, whether for his own needs or to not wake their companions, he’s not sure.] ‘m not hurt; something still feels wrong.

[He’s been trying to tell himself the reason is due to the netherbrain still remaining, or the choice to steal the orphic hammer or not, who to betray and who to serve.

They may have saved the day in regards to Bhaal but Tav feels their journey remains just as unfinished as ever.]

I… How can we still have so much before us? How can the steps we just took feel so small?

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale lets out a thoughtful hum and settles carefully down on the floor next to Tav, their arms pressed together. It’s hard not to maintain some point of connection, after everything that happened, just to make sure Tav is still there — that it’s not a dream.]

The scope of everything before us is… [He trails off, brow furrowed as he mulls it over.] We’ve all experienced things I think the average person could never dream of going through. Unfortunately it seems fate has decided that means all of us together are meant to be thrust into a staggering scale of events.

[Gale leans into Tav, head resting lightly on his shoulder for a moment.]

You took an extraordinary step today. I can’t diminish that tonight just because you’ll have to take another one tomorrow.

[tadpoled]

What if I don’t want to? I got you back and I’d rather fuck off with you and the others than go fight some giant brain wherever.

[Tav had never planned to be the de facto leader of their little troupe. He never asked to have so much reaponsibility thrust into his hands at once.

At his core, he’d been a broken shell of what he once was, but now with Urge cured, what reason does he have to not run off?]

I haven’t even decided if I want to help Voss or the Emperor and that alone will completely change our odds at the battle with the netherbrain.

[Tav sighs.] All I’m sure of is that I want to lie in bed with you until oblivion comes for us.