[Tav is currently holed up in one of the dark corners of the Flophouse. He has no weapons on him, no armor, just his casual clothes and what intimidation his missing eye provides. Luckily, the milky film seems to glimmer in the relative darkness, ushering would-be attackers or robbers away from him. He has a bottle in hand, the librarian long gone, and is now no longer drinking to help Gale. No, now he is polishing off something he can't pronounce to serve himself.
It's not wine, his tongue tells him. Perhaps something stronger, perhaps spirits of some kind. Dwarven? Something from the Underdark? Regardless, it's working to dull the impotent anger seems to threaten to rise every few hours since arriving in Baldur's Gate, ever since everything went topsy-turvy and he could name exactly what kind of monster he is.
He hears feet approaching again leans back in his seat, brushing the hair away from his left eye, allowing the white of it to show in a silent leave me alone.]
The face of a man with elven alcohol tolerance indeed.
[ A more prudent man would see the look on Tav's face and leave, knowing that to stay would be foolishness. A more prudent man would never have come in the first place. He certainly would have cut and run the moment he learned his friend was a Bhaalspawn, destined only for murder and ruin.
Gale, for all of his posturing, is not a prudent man. He was foolish enough to entangle himself with a goddess, and even more foolish to unleash Netherese magic in an attempt to prove himself worthy to her. The Flophouse with the son of Bhaal hardly makes the top ten most unwise decisions he's ever made.
He slides onto the seat next to Tav, observing him with a sidelong look. ]
I see our librarian friend took her leave.
[ All the better. More people would only make this more complicated. ]
[Gale slides into the seat next to him and Tav immediately assumes the great Wizard of Waterdeep is here for the key, not to comfort a literal monster. He reaches into the pocket of his trousers and produces said elaborately decorated key and slides it across the table.]
What you came for: the key to the vault.
[He slouches further in his chair and takes another swig of the oddly-named beverage, gritting his teeth as he swallows.]
[ The assumption of Gale's selfishness stings. What stings more is how the key does call to him. The Annals of Karsus, within reach; what arcane knowledge lies within the depths of those pages? With it, he might finally be able to prove himself worthy. He longs to reach out and snatch the key, to find the book, to devour its contents.
Yet, with Tav sitting beside him, looking so morose, he can't. Not yet. He wills himself to ignore the key, impossible task though it may be, and focuses his gaze on Tav's downtrodden face. ]
I came for you. Although I can't call myself practiced in friendship these days, even I know I would be no friend at all were I to leave you alone in this state.
[ He looks Tav up and down, as if appraising — what an awful state it is.
[Tav sets the glass bottle on the table, running his finger along the lip of the bottle as he looks over to Gale with his remaining brown eye. The color is usually warm, bright, but is currently so muddied and dark with the drink.]
All the better, is it not? For the son of Bhaal to suffer as much as he’s inflicted? You heard what Gortash said, it was my idea to use these tadpoles, I did this to all of you.
[Tav blows out a breath and looks away, he can’t stand it. He talked Gale out of blowing himself out and for what? To learn one of his closest friends orchestrated all of this madness?]
You can take the key and go. No one will find you selfish for it. I know you can find a solution for the mess I made.
[ I did this to all of you — a cocktail of emotions swirls in Gale at that. Tav is correct. This mess they're in is his fault. Without Tav, Gale wouldn't be on the verge of growing tentacles and losing his soul at a moment's notice. Without Tav, Mystra never would have asked Gale to detonate himself to earn her forgiveness. Yet the Tav beside him remembers nothing of this plan, desires nothing of it, and expresses such genuine sorrow that Gale can't bring himself to truly blame him. ]
You have made quite a mess, [ he concedes. ] But you certainly aren't alone in that regard. Need I remind you you're within explosion radius?
[ He forces a smile. Neither of them are without their faults. After all, Gale's mistake could have leveled a city were it not for Mystra's boon. ]
And there is no mess we've gotten out of yet without getting out of it together.
[Tav lifts his chin in the relative darkness of the flophouse, but says nothing for a moment or two. It's true: they have walked a difficult path, even before learning of Tav's true form, his true nature, and come out the other side. There were days when Tav made grand mistakes-- losing his left eye among them-- and Gale made his own, but together they still walked.
And now they stand at a precipice, Tav can feel the pull of it in his chest.]
How can you forgive me? [His voice is quiet, a hissed whisper, an accusation.]
[ Gale eyes Tav's drink. He'll need his own soon enough if they're to go down this path. ]
Whoever put that plan into motion died when the tadpole was inserted.
[ It doesn't absolve Tav of all responsibility, of course. Far from it. Memories or not, Tav has to undo what his past self did. Still, it's difficult to judge him by the urges of a person who's long gone. ]
You've proven your character plenty times over since then.
[ Would someone so evil have protected the tieflings in the Grove? Would he have sacrificed his own belongings to keep Gale alive, despite no benefit to himself? ]
If forgiveness is what you need, forgiveness is what I'll give to you. [ Forgiveness is perhaps not even warranted, but Gale knows well how easy it is to get caught up in the need for atonement. He makes a flourish of the hand in front of Tav, as if to cast a spell. ] By the power vested in me as the Wizard of Waterdeep, you are hereby forgiven.
[Tav's fingers still on the lip of the bottle and his entire body goes absolutely still as he listens. Does he expect a rebuke? Perhaps. An order to leave their party immediately? Less likely, but still possible. Outright forgiveness, what seems to be unconditional.
It seems... outlandish, impossible, outrageous, even with the extra flourishes that are so deeply Gale.
Tav releases a shuddering breath. He's not sure why he expected forgiveness to bring some kind of relief, but he still feels the weight of all he's done in his past life and he's not nearly drunk enough to feel the release he seeks. He lifts the odd, mishapen bottle from the table and takes a long drink from it.] I appreciate the effort.
[ Gale pauses for a moment, then allows his hand to fall, slouching much the same as Tav. It feels like the deepest failure to be unable to provide some solace, and he feels a darkening in his chest entirely unrelated to the orb.
He stares ahead at the bottles behind the counter, debating whether drinking himself into a similarly Tavlike stupor would make this situation worse or better. ]
Well, if there's anything I've learned, it's that after every life-shattering event, the sun continues to rise and set without you.
[ The world goes on like you didn't just ruin your own life, and you're left to pick up the pieces whether you're ready or not. ]
Tomorrow will come, like it or not. So, what's next?
[Tav would apologize if he weren’t outrageously drunk and so deep in his own self-loathing. He holds out the bottle when he notices Gale slouching. Might as well let both of them drink themselves into oblivion.]
I plan to help get your book and then disappear.
[Blowing out a breath.]
That was tonight’s plan but a certain persistant wizard fouled it.
[ Gale takes the bottle, tossing his head back mid-sip when — disappear? He nearly chokes, pounding on his chest and spluttering as he feels the drink go down the wrong way. He sets the bottle back on the counter, leaning towards Tav with a grave sort of ardor. ]
You cannot simply disappear. [ He lowers his voice to an insistent whisper. ] What of Orin? What of the Netherbrain? What of your friends and allies?
[Tav finally looks over at Gale again with his mismatched eyes, his brow set—— he’s deadly serious about disappearing.]
I never planned to be the leader of anyone… I can hardly lead myself.
[He gestures toward his missing eye, the result of dealing with the hag, before leaning back against his chair again.]
Your bonds will hold you together. The Emperor can wield the Netherstones. And Orin… she will chase me; I can pick the time and place of her demise while the reat of you rescue Lae’zel.
[He’s clearly thought about this, a considerable amount since learning his parentage.]
[ Gale puffs up, opening his mouth a few times as if to say something and then closing it again. Tav has truly done the impossible — struck him silent. Finally, he points a finger at Tav, shaking his head. ]
You— you are drunk. You need to sleep this off. In the morning, this ridiculous idea will seem nothing more than inebriated prattle.
[ Even as he says it, there is little conviction behind it. Tav has thought this through with terrifying detail, far beyond that of intoxicated whimsy. ]
I can’t sleep. [Tav hisses back.] Another good reason to disappear into the wilderness. At least then I would only be harming squirrels and birds and not—-
[Tav cuts himself off, picking at the edge of the table with his dirty fingernails. He truly believes this is for the best of everyone, for his friends and allies, for destroying the Netherbrain, for removing the Son if Bhaal from the equation entirely.
He can’t hurt anyone if he’s in some forest elsewhere on the Sword Coast.]
I expected you to agree. I expected you to hate me for what I’ve done.
And now that your expectations have been thoroughly dashed?
[ Gale leans back, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Whatever self-loathing hypothetical Tav has cooked up in his head, he'll have nothing to do with it. ]
I had thought that might mean something to you. [ He frowns. After his isolation, friends have been hard to come by. Tav is one of the few Gale's lucky enough to count as one, and now he hopes to disappear into the wilderness. ] Perhaps I was wrong.
[Tav goes quiet, back to picking at the edge of the table. He can’t remember if had friends before the nautiloid, but he doubts Gortash truly regarded him as the ‘dear friend’ he referred to him as. Meanwhile, across the table sat a man who actively sought him out, despite Tav’s anger, who continues to endure Tav’s insults despite his only true crime consisting of caring.
Does he promise to remain when all he wants is to run to the literal hills? Or does he continue on with the painful reality that he simply cannot deal with the new truths that govern his life?
A piece of the wood from the table flies off from where Tav chips it and he silently rejoices in destroying something.]
I can’t do this, Gale. [The anger falls away to exhaustion, a genuine need for a gods-damned break.] I cannot lead knowing the things I do now, knowing I hurt all of you in an irreperable way.
[Tav shakes his head.] It is too painful to look in your eyes, or Astarion’s, or Karlach’s or anyone who has become infected because of me. I can’t do this.
Then don't lead. None of us expects that from you.
[ While it's true that Tav has fallen into a leadership role among their group, Gale likes to think they've evolved past such roles. Tav is a friend before anything else, and friends look out for each other. Presumptuous though it may be, he can only imagine the others feel the same. None of them would criticize Tav for stepping back lest they draw the rest of the group's ire. ]
All we would ask of you is that you stay. You've accomplished far more daunting tasks — this one should be downright achievable, surely.
[Tav's head snaps over faster than it should while so deeply intoxicated. He groans and holds himself by his temples, straining to keep his eyes open, but he watches Gale nonetheless. He watches for any sign of deception, of false platitudes meant to prop Tav up for the night or to keep him from running until the Netherbrain has been taken care of.
But he sees none of that. No, nothing to persuade him from his quest to disappear but a genuine desire to see Tav hale, in mind, body, and spirit.
It's... baffling to the part of his mind that still expects Gale to spit on him for who he truly is. Luckily, there's none of that either.]
You would allow me to step back? [His brows knit, eyes widen, as if he's barely holding onto the hope that Gale is speaking the truth.]
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for @wizardsplain
Date: 2023-10-06 08:56 pm (UTC)It's not wine, his tongue tells him. Perhaps something stronger, perhaps spirits of some kind. Dwarven? Something from the Underdark? Regardless, it's working to dull the impotent anger seems to threaten to rise every few hours since arriving in Baldur's Gate, ever since everything went topsy-turvy and he could name exactly what kind of monster he is.
He hears feet approaching again leans back in his seat, brushing the hair away from his left eye, allowing the white of it to show in a silent leave me alone.]
no subject
Date: 2023-10-06 11:14 pm (UTC)[ A more prudent man would see the look on Tav's face and leave, knowing that to stay would be foolishness. A more prudent man would never have come in the first place. He certainly would have cut and run the moment he learned his friend was a Bhaalspawn, destined only for murder and ruin.
Gale, for all of his posturing, is not a prudent man. He was foolish enough to entangle himself with a goddess, and even more foolish to unleash Netherese magic in an attempt to prove himself worthy to her. The Flophouse with the son of Bhaal hardly makes the top ten most unwise decisions he's ever made.
He slides onto the seat next to Tav, observing him with a sidelong look. ]
I see our librarian friend took her leave.
[ All the better. More people would only make this more complicated. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-10-06 11:24 pm (UTC)What you came for: the key to the vault.
[He slouches further in his chair and takes another swig of the oddly-named beverage, gritting his teeth as he swallows.]
Anything else?
no subject
Date: 2023-10-06 11:45 pm (UTC)Yet, with Tav sitting beside him, looking so morose, he can't. Not yet. He wills himself to ignore the key, impossible task though it may be, and focuses his gaze on Tav's downtrodden face. ]
I came for you. Although I can't call myself practiced in friendship these days, even I know I would be no friend at all were I to leave you alone in this state.
[ He looks Tav up and down, as if appraising — what an awful state it is.
Grimly: ] You aren't well.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-06 11:59 pm (UTC)[Tav sets the glass bottle on the table, running his finger along the lip of the bottle as he looks over to Gale with his remaining brown eye. The color is usually warm, bright, but is currently so muddied and dark with the drink.]
All the better, is it not? For the son of Bhaal to suffer as much as he’s inflicted? You heard what Gortash said, it was my idea to use these tadpoles, I did this to all of you.
[Tav blows out a breath and looks away, he can’t stand it. He talked Gale out of blowing himself out and for what? To learn one of his closest friends orchestrated all of this madness?]
You can take the key and go. No one will find you selfish for it. I know you can find a solution for the mess I made.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 12:33 am (UTC)You have made quite a mess, [ he concedes. ] But you certainly aren't alone in that regard. Need I remind you you're within explosion radius?
[ He forces a smile. Neither of them are without their faults. After all, Gale's mistake could have leveled a city were it not for Mystra's boon. ]
And there is no mess we've gotten out of yet without getting out of it together.
ugh i love your gale
Date: 2023-10-07 01:08 am (UTC)And now they stand at a precipice, Tav can feel the pull of it in his chest.]
How can you forgive me? [His voice is quiet, a hissed whisper, an accusation.]
🥲 ty!!
Date: 2023-10-07 02:17 am (UTC)Whoever put that plan into motion died when the tadpole was inserted.
[ It doesn't absolve Tav of all responsibility, of course. Far from it. Memories or not, Tav has to undo what his past self did. Still, it's difficult to judge him by the urges of a person who's long gone. ]
You've proven your character plenty times over since then.
[ Would someone so evil have protected the tieflings in the Grove? Would he have sacrificed his own belongings to keep Gale alive, despite no benefit to himself? ]
If forgiveness is what you need, forgiveness is what I'll give to you. [ Forgiveness is perhaps not even warranted, but Gale knows well how easy it is to get caught up in the need for atonement. He makes a flourish of the hand in front of Tav, as if to cast a spell. ] By the power vested in me as the Wizard of Waterdeep, you are hereby forgiven.
lmk if you put him in a game?
Date: 2023-10-07 02:32 am (UTC)It seems... outlandish, impossible, outrageous, even with the extra flourishes that are so deeply Gale.
Tav releases a shuddering breath. He's not sure why he expected forgiveness to bring some kind of relief, but he still feels the weight of all he's done in his past life and he's not nearly drunk enough to feel the release he seeks. He lifts the odd, mishapen bottle from the table and takes a long drink from it.] I appreciate the effort.
of course!
Date: 2023-10-07 05:38 pm (UTC)He stares ahead at the bottles behind the counter, debating whether drinking himself into a similarly Tavlike stupor would make this situation worse or better. ]
Well, if there's anything I've learned, it's that after every life-shattering event, the sun continues to rise and set without you.
[ The world goes on like you didn't just ruin your own life, and you're left to pick up the pieces whether you're ready or not. ]
Tomorrow will come, like it or not. So, what's next?
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 05:55 pm (UTC)I plan to help get your book and then disappear.
[Blowing out a breath.]
That was tonight’s plan but a certain persistant wizard fouled it.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 06:09 pm (UTC)You cannot simply disappear. [ He lowers his voice to an insistent whisper. ] What of Orin? What of the Netherbrain? What of your friends and allies?
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 06:18 pm (UTC)[Tav finally looks over at Gale again with his mismatched eyes, his brow set—— he’s deadly serious about disappearing.]
I never planned to be the leader of anyone… I can hardly lead myself.
[He gestures toward his missing eye, the result of dealing with the hag, before leaning back against his chair again.]
Your bonds will hold you together. The Emperor can wield the Netherstones. And Orin… she will chase me; I can pick the time and place of her demise while the reat of you rescue Lae’zel.
[He’s clearly thought about this, a considerable amount since learning his parentage.]
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 06:35 pm (UTC)You— you are drunk. You need to sleep this off. In the morning, this ridiculous idea will seem nothing more than inebriated prattle.
[ Even as he says it, there is little conviction behind it. Tav has thought this through with terrifying detail, far beyond that of intoxicated whimsy. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 06:49 pm (UTC)[Tav cuts himself off, picking at the edge of the table with his dirty fingernails. He truly believes this is for the best of everyone, for his friends and allies, for destroying the Netherbrain, for removing the Son if Bhaal from the equation entirely.
He can’t hurt anyone if he’s in some forest elsewhere on the Sword Coast.]
I expected you to agree. I expected you to hate me for what I’ve done.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 07:08 pm (UTC)[ Gale leans back, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Whatever self-loathing hypothetical Tav has cooked up in his head, he'll have nothing to do with it. ]
I had thought that might mean something to you. [ He frowns. After his isolation, friends have been hard to come by. Tav is one of the few Gale's lucky enough to count as one, and now he hopes to disappear into the wilderness. ] Perhaps I was wrong.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 07:19 pm (UTC)Does he promise to remain when all he wants is to run to the literal hills? Or does he continue on with the painful reality that he simply cannot deal with the new truths that govern his life?
A piece of the wood from the table flies off from where Tav chips it and he silently rejoices in destroying something.]
I can’t do this, Gale. [The anger falls away to exhaustion, a genuine need for a gods-damned break.] I cannot lead knowing the things I do now, knowing I hurt all of you in an irreperable way.
[Tav shakes his head.] It is too painful to look in your eyes, or Astarion’s, or Karlach’s or anyone who has become infected because of me. I can’t do this.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 08:11 pm (UTC)[ While it's true that Tav has fallen into a leadership role among their group, Gale likes to think they've evolved past such roles. Tav is a friend before anything else, and friends look out for each other. Presumptuous though it may be, he can only imagine the others feel the same. None of them would criticize Tav for stepping back lest they draw the rest of the group's ire. ]
All we would ask of you is that you stay. You've accomplished far more daunting tasks — this one should be downright achievable, surely.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-07 08:29 pm (UTC)But he sees none of that. No, nothing to persuade him from his quest to disappear but a genuine desire to see Tav hale, in mind, body, and spirit.
It's... baffling to the part of his mind that still expects Gale to spit on him for who he truly is. Luckily, there's none of that either.]
You would allow me to step back? [His brows knit, eyes widen, as if he's barely holding onto the hope that Gale is speaking the truth.]