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[tadpoled]

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[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale rolls his eyes fondly at Tav and leans in for one last soft kiss.] I fully intend on wearing you out properly tomorrow, thank you very much.

[He helps pull the blankets up around them before winding his arms around Tav again, one at his waist, the other hand gently carding through his hair.] Sleep well, my dear. It'll be nice waking up with you in a bed for once.

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[Tav chuckles again before he tugs the blankets fully around them, smiling into the kiss with Gale. Oh this is so nice, he could get used to it, he thinks.]

I'll do my best, darling.

[Or he could surprise Gale with some literal or horny breakfast in bed. Ah, but that is for tomorrow and Tav is properly ready to sleep, hopefully for the entire night.]

Good night, I love you.

[waterdhavianwizard]

I love you too. [Gale brushes his lips to the top of Tav's head, cradling him close in the warmth of the blankets as he begins to drift off. Whatever happens -- at least he'll be here for Tav, whether for a restful evening or to comfort or try to guide him through whatever might wake him in the night.]

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[Tav wakes up about halfway through the night, just before predawn, sitting up abruptly from the bed and tearing out of the sheets. He's already moving towards his clothes within a moment. He needs to think and the best thinking he does is while walking.]

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale wakes up not too long later; even before recent events necessitate they all become somewhat light sleepers, the presence of the orb made restful nights rare before it was stabilized.

He props himself up on one elbow, scanning the room bleary-eyed when he finds no one next to him.

Gale watches Tav for a moment as he dresses, trying to shake off his sleepiness.]

Are you -- is everything alright, my dear?

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[Tav is busy tugging up his trousers and tying them that he doesn't notice Gale also wake. Jumping at the sound of Gale's voice, Tav turns back around and presses a hand to his chest when the relief of Gale's presence moves through his body.]

Nightmare. About Orin. Need to think.

[Tav's usually chatty nature has completely disappeared and is instead replaced by panic.]

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale's expression softens. He sits up properly, moving to the edge of the bed, anxious to offer what reassurance he can but also keenly aware his own comforts -- a warm embrace, wandering conversation -- can be more smothering than reassuring in these moments.]

I didn't mean to startle you. [He gestures towards the door, knob still glowing faintly with the effect of Tav's arcane lock from the night before.] It's just us.

Do you... I don't know that it's wise for any of us to be out alone, especially so late. We don't have to talk, if that's not what you need. We can walk for a bit.

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[Tav seems more and more distracted the longer he's awake. He's only half-listening to Gale until Gale suggests they walk together. Tav already has his tunic on and is practically ready to go.]

Please. A walk would help tremendously.

[waterdhavianwizard]

Of course. [Gale dresses quickly, not bothering with his robes over his undershirt; it's not as if they're going anywhere he'll need to be presentable, and the chilly night air will wake him up all the faster.

After a beat, he grabs his quarterstaff as well. Better safe than sorry, these days, quiet walk or no.] Lead the way, love.

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[Tav nods once Gale is dressed, waves his hand in front of the door to undo the arcane lock. He leads the way down the stairs and past the front desk until they're outside and it feels as if Tav can properly breathe again. He takes a few paces before he turns to Gale.]

Had a nightmare you were taken and... [Tav bites his lip.] we were too late to save you.

[waterdhavianwizard]

Ah. [That seems to pull Gale up short of it for a moment -- the idea of being taken, or something happening to Tav. Losing him. Gale swallows against the spike of anxiety that lurches through him, and extends a hand for Tav to take.]

Well, fortunately for us I do have a very clever failsafe prepared in the event of my untimely death. [His tone is light, but not dismissive -- something gentle to cut the tension.] But for now, I am here with you, and unharmed. You could have woken me if you wanted, I wouldn't have minded.

I hate that she's rattled us so. Rattled you. You deserve better than such cruel games.

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[Tav eagerly accepts the offered hand, squeezing it tight in his.]

I don't want to think about your death. She could be anywhere, watching, learning how we interact.

[The nightmare is not so easily shaken free yet, but having Gale beside him, hand-in-hand certainly helps.]

You heard what Gortash said: I caused all this. I don't deserve better.

[waterdhavianwizard]

We’ll think about walking, then. I can escort you around the square, a little old fashioned courting.

[He gives Tav’s hand a squeeze and tugs him a little closer before setting them on their way again. Around the Elfsong is as good a spot as any for a short stroll, lanterns still on in a building or two nearby and the haunting figure of one of Gortash’s steel watchers lurking nearer the square, for better or worse.]

I did hear him. I… [He frowns, thoughtful.] I would like to tell you that’s not really you. It is you, as much as — [He taps the orb mark.] This, or Astarion’s vampirism or Lae’zel’s upbringing.

I know it’s different for you. But we’ve all had the opportunity to make different decisions — to change. And you’ve been trying, harder than any of us I think.

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[Tav keeps a firm grip on Gale's hand as they walk, his mind still buzzing from the nightmare. What if they've already been infiltrated by an imposter? What if these dreams are doing nothing but keeping Tav from a good night's rest?]

Have I? Will any change I make ever be enough when those urges remain inside me? I could wake up one day and slaughter all of you.

[Tav squeezes Gale's hand again, seeking out reassurance that the monster being kept at bay isn't one blackout away from killing their entire party.]

I might as well be Orin.

[waterdhavianwizard]

I could have blown up half the Sword Coast if I let Astarion needle me long enough, a few days ago.

[He still could, if he wanted. Better not to dwell too long on that — especially not now. Gale lifts Tav’s hand to press a soft kiss to the back of it.

He furrows his brow at that comparison, however, and his tone is firmer when he speaks again.]

I won’t indulge that. You aren’t Orin. Whatever you’ve been before, you’re making someone new of yourself. Someone selfless and empathetic. Maybe she could have become that too, if she’d been the one to fall in with our lot — but you did.

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[Tav pauses the walk when Gale presses a kiss to the back of his freckled hand. He does his best to listen, to really swallow down the words Gale is speaking, but his mind returns, as it often does, to Alfira. That brave girl, wanting nothing more than to participate in their adventures, struck down and brutalized for all the camp to see.

Tav could still remember the warmth of her blood soaking into his skin and how some part of him enjoyed it. Tav had been too horrified to even think of denying his obvious involvement, but with no idea what could have caused it, there was no way to avenge her.

Not until Orin showed up.]

What about Alfira?

[waterdhavianwizard]

And what of me?

[Gale pauses with him, turning to examine Tav’s troubled expression beneath the dim light of one of the street lanterns.]

I don’t mean to diminish her death, or how the act haunts you. I wish one of us had woken up. I wish something had been different.

[He takes Tav’s hand in both of his, holding it to his chest.]

But you could have killed me that night, and you didn’t. You could have betrayed the grove, or Isobel, or even left our poor owlbear with the goblins. You have had any number of opportunities be the person you fear you still are, and you continue to choose another path.

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[Tav still has nightmares of the near miss with Gale, still remembers how his hands called for him to strangle Gale or worse. He'd've never forgiven himself if he'd laid a finger on Gale. But now his hands are being held tight by the man he nearly killed.

He doesn't deserve Gale. Not in any version of this story. Not when Gale could be a god and all Tav seemed to do is remind him of the benefits of being human, that Tav loved Gale as he is, that he would rather they make love on a bed in the forest than in a manifestation of eternal lovers.]

's not without trying; I still have those urges. I might never be free of them.

[waterdhavianwizard]

And some part of me will always want the crown, I think.

[Gale reaches up to tuck a bit of Tav’s hair behind his ear; they’re both still mussed from sleep, too hurried to do more than get presentable enough to leave the inn.]

But every day we must all decide whether or not we want to choose our better nature. You’ve shown me there is worth in choosing mine, and I will endeavor every day to do the same for you. We all will.

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[Tav's furrowed brows slowly ease up the longer Gale speaks. He squeezes Gale's hand again before leaning in for a brief kiss.]

Thank you, for believing in me.

[waterdhavianwizard]

I could say the same for you, my dear. [Gale's fingers trail down to curve around Tav's jaw, tracing his thumb over his cheek.]

I hesitate to think of where I might be, were it not for you. Whatever happens, I will be by your side. You don't have to endure this alone.

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[Tav nods, stepping in closer to Gale in order to lean against him, absorb the offered warmth and comfort. Perhaps they can beat this after all, he just needs to keep in the present.]

Thank you.

[Tav looks at the Elfsong and then back to Gale.] Think I'm ready to catch some more sleep.

[waterdhavianwizard]

I love you. [Gale brushes a kiss to the top of Tav’s head, reaching to tangle their fingers together for the short walk back to the Elfsong and the comfort of their room.]

If you dream again, promise you’ll wake me up? We don’t have to talk, but I’d have been so worried if I’d woken up and didn’t know where you were.

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Love you too. [As soon as they step into their room, Tav replaces the arcane lock and shucks his boots. He climbs back into bed, patting it for Gale to join him.]

Promise.

[waterdhavianwizard]

[Gale sheds his boots and climbs back into bed, leaning over Tav for a moment before bending down to kiss him.]

We can weather anything together, my dear.

[He settles back into the sheets, gently tugging Tav against his chest and drawing the sheets over both of them.] Get some rest.