[Just as the Bhaalspawn starts to move toward the growing pool of Orin's blood, he's swept into the wizard's cloak and wrapped tight. Then they're off in a series of smoky jumps. The last he sees of the underground, the pale elf holds the stone in his slaughterkin's dagger overhead and the tiefling pulls him along as they follow the wizard's path. The Bhaalspawn hears the rumbling sound of the deep voice inside him one more time, but as they clear the underground and emerge into the fresh rays of a sunrise, the Bhaalspawn finds it quiets.
The Bhaalspawn has yet to say anything at all to the wizard. No thanks. No scorn. No anything. There has been no show of emotion from the Bhaalspawn since seeing the wizard, the tiefling, and the pale elf, not even as they enter the bright light of the sun where the extra light might illuminate their faces better.]
[ Gale's impatience to be free of the underground is palpable. He keeps whisking Tav further and further forward through the underground, barely waiting for the others to catch up until finally he's convinced they aren't being chased.
Not that it's... entirely reassuring. He's not truly convinced something else won't still come for them later, but for now?
He'll take it.
His chest heaves, grip hesitantly loosening on Tav as they emerge into the light of Baldur's Gate. ]
Right.
[ Brown eyes flit to Astarion, to Karlach, then back to Tav. The silence is... disconcerting. Panic crawls over his skin, up into his hair, tightens around his heart and squeezes. ]
What would you like me to say? [The Bhaalspawn's voice is hoarse from screaming and disuse.
There are no outward forms of aggression, no snarling or biting, no warm thanks or gratitude, there is only a stillness and a blank slate gazing back at the wizard with dull mismatched eyes.
There is no inherent curiosity to explore the world, no desire to pick plant from the side of the road. His eyes do not flick from party member to party member to check for wounds he needs to heal.
There is simply nothing and no one beneath the surface of one dark brown and one milky-white eye.]
[ Gale makes a sound in the back of his throat, some combination of distress and frustration. He can hear Astarion off to his left, hear him start to say darling in a way that is pitying yet resigned. ]
Anything.
[ Say anything, anything at all. Karlach comes to rest a hand on him, and Gale resits the urge to throw it off. She speaks to him, low and quiet, and he nods. ]
Alright. Let's get you to Shadowheart. She can --
[ His voice catches, taking in the amount of blood. The damage. ]
She can help. We can't afford to linger in the open. Not now.
[ Not while they have all the netherstones, and while the brain is so close. It's only a matter of time. ]
Anything. [Bhaalspawn parrots dumbly, his senses numbed to who he’s talking to. He sees the tiefling approach but again makes no motion to attack. Instead, he continues to remain still in the wizard’s arms as he continues to stare with no sense of interest.
He doesn’t ask who Shadowheart is, where they are going, as that is all far above his station. He does not even ask if he should walk or not; if they wish him to walk the wizard will make him.]
[ Rain hammers against the glass of the Elfsong Tavern windows, and Gale watches Shadowheart cast spell after spell on Tav. Healing spells, restoration spells, curse removals: nothing.
Gale paces, anxious, until Astarion snaps at him to sit down.
Then he sits anxiously instead, watching the proceedings.
This is... painful. They cannot ask Tav what he wants, because he doesn't know. They cannot heal him, apparently. Yet there must be something.
If he had the Crown of Karsus --
Yet, no. Tav had dissuaded him from using that before.
(It's only that it could work, it could work...)
He escorts Tav back to his room, defeated, and tries to ply him with his favourite food instead. With a book he liked, with familiar clothing, anything that might help.
He sits on a chair, giving up his anxious hovering, and studies the man. ]
You remember nothing at all?
[ There's only so long they can wait, the looming presence of the Elder Brain is still a problem.
Gale wonders, grimly, if they will be enough without Tav to hold them together. He wonders if he should --
But, no. He promised to stay by Tav's side. He can't break that promise, not now. ]
[Bhaalspawn quickly learns his name is Tav and even more quickly that he needs to respond to that name or else make the pacing wizard even more anxious. There are spells cast on him, waves of turquoise light that spread over him, give him strength, but do nothing for his memory. They provide him with dry clothes that seem familiar to him and the same with a hearty meal-- he can't remember the last time he ate-- and by the end of the night Bhaal-- Tav is sitting across from the wizard without recognition in his eyes. The hearty stew brought up a few memories, of a man in a purple robe, but the details of his face were warped and distant, unfamiliar to Tav in every way.]
What am I meant to remember? [Tav asks, not trying to anger the wizard but to try and regain part of what he's clearly lost. He's heard the others call the wizard by a name and so Tav tries that, hoping to soothe the anxieties of the man in front of him.] You are Gale, yes?
Should he... show him? Would that help? Or would a mental connection unbalance the man's already shattered mind? Shadowheart had said give him time, and she's certainly lost enough memories. Hers had come back, with exposure.
Perhaps better not to risk it. He's already done enough damage, hasn't he? ]
Gale, yes, Gale of Waterdeep. We were all of us on a nautiloid, yourself included. Woke up to find we'd had a little ocular insertion and yet none of us were growing tentacles and turning towards the Grand Design. So, being of similar minds that this was an unwelcome development we banded together in the hopes of finding a healer who could handle it. It's been a long road.
[The Grand Design triggers something beneath the surface of Tav's mind, brief catches of something truly dark and diabolical that hollows out Tav's chest, makes him look around at the gathered group before back to Gale. In nearly all of the memories that have been recovered, which aren't many, those same purple robes are present. Tav shuts his eyes to try and force himself to see the face, to see expressions, to see something more than a moment or two, but doing so only furthers the headache threatening to cripple him for the rest of the night.]
I spend a lot of time with you. [Tav opens his eyes again, but they're glassy with pain, with the effort of trying to remember.]
[ The pained expression inspires a new flash of guilt. ]
Yes. Yes, you did.
[ He swallows, trying to think, and hears Astarion loudly proclaiming that he's tired and should get some sleep. That there's nothing to be gained by his lingering. A wave of gratitude passes over him and he hears the others slowly trickle out too, leaving the two of them sat staring at each other. ]
If it hurts, don't push yourself. I am... impatient for you to remember, I will readily admit that, but I thought I'd lost you entirely. To have you here, once more, even devoid of the memory of our journey is a relief I cannot begin to describe. Take your time, please.
[Tav leans on his forehead, gently rubbing his temples in a slow circular motion to try and ease the building headache. He wants to remember, especially Gale, but his head is blisteringly sore, his brain so scrambling he can hardly meet Gale's gaze.]
You were... are important to Bhaalsp-- to Tav. [The headache mounts higher and he groans. He covers his eyes to try and relieve the pain.] Weren't you.
[Blood dribbles down from his nose, a leftover from Orin's torture.]
[ Gale pushes to his feet, retrieving a cloth and filling a basin with water. He circles back, crouches in front of Tav and begins to gently clean the blood from his face. ]
You won't be any good to anyone if we make this worse. So, slowly. A little at a time. When it gets too much, take a moment. I'll still be here, whenever you need me.
[Tav is just about to tumble off his chair when Gale is there with the washcloth to wipe away the blood. There's something inherently familiar about Gale's promise that Tav can't shake. Against Gale's advice, he pushes harder, through the pain to find the memory of Gale fighting back against the Dark Urge, promising to stay by his side.]
You promised to stay by my side. [More blood leaks out of Tav's nose, but he's not stopping.] I was fighting something. I had longer hair.
[Tav's eyes slide shut for a moment or two as Gale dabs the blood away. His headache is excruciating, but he breathes through it to open his mismatched eyes once more, just to see a pained expression on Gale's face as well.
Tav doesn't know what to do, doesn't know the boundaries that may exist between them or lack there of. He supposes he's allowed to cup Gale's face, but does he want to? Does he know Gale well enough to perform such an intimate act?
Unsure, he reaches up to hold Gale's wrist, his grip gentle.]
I don't know what to tell you to help. [At least there's a sense of his personality emerging from the cinders: the Tav who likes to help and wants to help.]
You don't need to say anything, you don't -- trust me I talk enough for the both of us most days.
[ He laughs, something hollow and weak, and draws his hand back. He gently takes Tav's hand, presses his face to it and tries to breathe. The tangle of emotion feels as hot and volatile as the Netherese Orb itself, liable to overload at any moment. ]
But I came so close to losing you, and the world would have been a much darker place indeed without your light.
My light? [Tav tilts his head and flexes his fingers against Gale's bearded cheek. He doesn't understand how he could possibly produce enough light to affect the world at large in a literal sense.
Still, he can see that Gale needs some kind of reassurance and so he offers what he can,] I am right here now. There is no need for 'what if's, Gale. Or none that I know of.
[He's heard a great deal about a battle with a brain?? and he supposes he's not in any shape endure that fight, but again, he knows so little.] If you need me for the fight, I will be there.
[ He promised to stay by his side, after all. His heart wants to do that. Yet what if they need him? What if everyone else dies, because he's here tending to Tav?
[ The problem is, Gale is a selfish creature at heart.
He wants happiness so aggressively, wants Tav to remember him, wants the feeling of being cared for above anyone else. Wants to be in Waterdeep, with Tara, enjoying peace.
He deserves that, doesn't he?
Doesn't he?
Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he needs to earn it. He's already failed once, after making a promise.
The selfish desire to run, to take Tav and run right now, wars with his self-esteem.
If the other man remembered, what would he have wanted? He'd have wanted to help, surely? So then, of course, Gale would have stayed by his side.
Yet what if they cannot win? What if the only option ends up the Netherese Orb in his chest? ]
Well of course they need me, a wizard of my renown. Without me to hold them together I have the unfortunate suspicion they would struggle.
[Tav nods. He does not know much about Gale, only what he's heard in the last few hours of being cared for and what patches of memory remain after what he now understands to have been torture from Orin.
He also understands that he's not well enough to go with Gale. He barely has his own name on his tongue, much less how to use a sword or cast a spell. In the fight looming ahead, he would be a distraction, a liability.]
And I suspect you would want me to stay. [Tav bows his head for a moment or two, brushing away the blood that seeps from his nose when he does so.] I promise to stay safe.
[ How can he promise that? Gale retrieves the cloth again, rinsing it with a frown and moving to gently clean the new trickles of blood away from the man's nose.
His heart plays a restless beat as he tries to envision all the outcomes. A world of endless possibilities, of roads not taken, of battles won and lost.
If they go and leave the prism here, they'll be out of its protection anyway. If they take the prism, they doom those they leave behind.
If the battle is lost, they all become mindflayers.
Gale lowers the cloth, hand lifting to touch Tav's face once more. ]
What voice? [Tav has little memories of any voices urging him to violence or what that might mean for his new friends-- he hopes they're friends, else they're just well-dressed kidnappers.] The voice from the pit?
[He is about to shut his eyes to think when Gale's fingers brush his face, ease over his cheek, and Tav allows himself to become distracted. This touch is so much kinder than any that he has ever known. Granted, he doesn't know many other touches than being cut with a knife innumerable times and a thin blade in his ear, but he desires more of it, desires more of Gale.
For a moment, he allows himself to watch Gale, to study those brown eyes and search his scattered memories for something. The mention of the voice actually brings forth a memory, a rather unpleasant one.]
I tried to kill you once. [His breath hitches in his chest. That must be the voice Gale is talking about, the one urging him to split Gale open, to paint the ground with his blood.] N-no I don't hear that voice.
[Tav reaches up to rest a hand over Gale's, even if it shakes with this new memory that storms into his mind. He'd been tied up, thankfully, but he'd tried to kill Gale all the same. It's not something he wants to remember, but Gale doesn't seem to mind.
There's a knock at the door and the tiefling-- Karlach, he's come to know-- pushes her head in.]
Soldier, [She nods to Tav, who stares blankly at her. She then turns to Gale, the heat of the upcoming battle in her words.] It's time, Gale.
[Tav turns back to Gale and allows his hand to slowly drop away.] Lock the door anyway? Just in case.
[He doesn't want there to be the slightest chance that a voice might call him away from the safety of the Elfsong.] I'll see you on the other side.
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Date: 2023-10-13 01:02 pm (UTC)The Bhaalspawn has yet to say anything at all to the wizard. No thanks. No scorn. No anything. There has been no show of emotion from the Bhaalspawn since seeing the wizard, the tiefling, and the pale elf, not even as they enter the bright light of the sun where the extra light might illuminate their faces better.]
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Date: 2023-10-13 01:25 pm (UTC)Not that it's... entirely reassuring. He's not truly convinced something else won't still come for them later, but for now?
He'll take it.
His chest heaves, grip hesitantly loosening on Tav as they emerge into the light of Baldur's Gate. ]
Right.
[ Brown eyes flit to Astarion, to Karlach, then back to Tav. The silence is... disconcerting. Panic crawls over his skin, up into his hair, tightens around his heart and squeezes. ]
Say something.
[ He swallows, letting the cloak slip free. ]
Please?
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Date: 2023-10-13 01:35 pm (UTC)There are no outward forms of aggression, no snarling or biting, no warm thanks or gratitude, there is only a stillness and a blank slate gazing back at the wizard with dull mismatched eyes.
There is no inherent curiosity to explore the world, no desire to pick plant from the side of the road. His eyes do not flick from party member to party member to check for wounds he needs to heal.
There is simply nothing and no one beneath the surface of one dark brown and one milky-white eye.]
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Date: 2023-10-13 02:20 pm (UTC)Anything.
[ Say anything, anything at all. Karlach comes to rest a hand on him, and Gale resits the urge to throw it off. She speaks to him, low and quiet, and he nods. ]
Alright. Let's get you to Shadowheart. She can --
[ His voice catches, taking in the amount of blood. The damage. ]
She can help. We can't afford to linger in the open. Not now.
[ Not while they have all the netherstones, and while the brain is so close. It's only a matter of time. ]
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Date: 2023-10-13 02:30 pm (UTC)He doesn’t ask who Shadowheart is, where they are going, as that is all far above his station. He does not even ask if he should walk or not; if they wish him to walk the wizard will make him.]
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Date: 2023-10-13 07:29 pm (UTC)Gale paces, anxious, until Astarion snaps at him to sit down.
Then he sits anxiously instead, watching the proceedings.
This is... painful. They cannot ask Tav what he wants, because he doesn't know. They cannot heal him, apparently. Yet there must be something.
If he had the Crown of Karsus --
Yet, no. Tav had dissuaded him from using that before.
(It's only that it could work, it could work...)
He escorts Tav back to his room, defeated, and tries to ply him with his favourite food instead. With a book he liked, with familiar clothing, anything that might help.
He sits on a chair, giving up his anxious hovering, and studies the man. ]
You remember nothing at all?
[ There's only so long they can wait, the looming presence of the Elder Brain is still a problem.
Gale wonders, grimly, if they will be enough without Tav to hold them together. He wonders if he should --
But, no. He promised to stay by Tav's side. He can't break that promise, not now. ]
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Date: 2023-10-13 07:53 pm (UTC)What am I meant to remember? [Tav asks, not trying to anger the wizard but to try and regain part of what he's clearly lost. He's heard the others call the wizard by a name and so Tav tries that, hoping to soothe the anxieties of the man in front of him.] You are Gale, yes?
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Date: 2023-10-13 08:08 pm (UTC)Should he... show him? Would that help? Or would a mental connection unbalance the man's already shattered mind? Shadowheart had said give him time, and she's certainly lost enough memories. Hers had come back, with exposure.
Perhaps better not to risk it. He's already done enough damage, hasn't he? ]
Gale, yes, Gale of Waterdeep. We were all of us on a nautiloid, yourself included. Woke up to find we'd had a little ocular insertion and yet none of us were growing tentacles and turning towards the Grand Design. So, being of similar minds that this was an unwelcome development we banded together in the hopes of finding a healer who could handle it. It's been a long road.
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Date: 2023-10-13 08:24 pm (UTC)I spend a lot of time with you. [Tav opens his eyes again, but they're glassy with pain, with the effort of trying to remember.]
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Date: 2023-10-13 09:05 pm (UTC)Yes. Yes, you did.
[ He swallows, trying to think, and hears Astarion loudly proclaiming that he's tired and should get some sleep. That there's nothing to be gained by his lingering. A wave of gratitude passes over him and he hears the others slowly trickle out too, leaving the two of them sat staring at each other. ]
If it hurts, don't push yourself. I am... impatient for you to remember, I will readily admit that, but I thought I'd lost you entirely. To have you here, once more, even devoid of the memory of our journey is a relief I cannot begin to describe. Take your time, please.
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Date: 2023-10-13 09:19 pm (UTC)You were... are important to Bhaalsp-- to Tav. [The headache mounts higher and he groans. He covers his eyes to try and relieve the pain.] Weren't you.
[Blood dribbles down from his nose, a leftover from Orin's torture.]
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Date: 2023-10-13 09:25 pm (UTC)[ Gale pushes to his feet, retrieving a cloth and filling a basin with water. He circles back, crouches in front of Tav and begins to gently clean the blood from his face. ]
You won't be any good to anyone if we make this worse. So, slowly. A little at a time. When it gets too much, take a moment. I'll still be here, whenever you need me.
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Date: 2023-10-13 09:37 pm (UTC)You promised to stay by my side. [More blood leaks out of Tav's nose, but he's not stopping.] I was fighting something. I had longer hair.
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Date: 2023-10-13 11:17 pm (UTC)[ He cups Tav's face gently, dabbing more of the blood away. ]
But you aren't wrong. I did make you that promise. I told you I wouldn't let you down, and I failed you.
[ He drops the cloth a moment, expression pinched in pain. ]
And I'm sorry for that. I'd give anything to make things right, to undo the pain you're in.
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Date: 2023-10-13 11:26 pm (UTC)Tav doesn't know what to do, doesn't know the boundaries that may exist between them or lack there of. He supposes he's allowed to cup Gale's face, but does he want to? Does he know Gale well enough to perform such an intimate act?
Unsure, he reaches up to hold Gale's wrist, his grip gentle.]
I don't know what to tell you to help. [At least there's a sense of his personality emerging from the cinders: the Tav who likes to help and wants to help.]
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Date: 2023-10-13 11:46 pm (UTC)[ He laughs, something hollow and weak, and draws his hand back. He gently takes Tav's hand, presses his face to it and tries to breathe. The tangle of emotion feels as hot and volatile as the Netherese Orb itself, liable to overload at any moment. ]
But I came so close to losing you, and the world would have been a much darker place indeed without your light.
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Date: 2023-10-13 11:55 pm (UTC)Still, he can see that Gale needs some kind of reassurance and so he offers what he can,] I am right here now. There is no need for 'what if's, Gale. Or none that I know of.
[He's heard a great deal about a battle with a brain?? and he supposes he's not in any shape endure that fight, but again, he knows so little.] If you need me for the fight, I will be there.
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Date: 2023-10-14 12:10 am (UTC)[ Gale swallows, uneasy. ]
But I don't want to leave you.
[ He promised to stay by his side, after all. His heart wants to do that. Yet what if they need him? What if everyone else dies, because he's here tending to Tav?
Neither choice is good. ]
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Date: 2023-10-14 12:15 am (UTC)[Tav starts to withdraw his hand, brushing his knuckles along Gale’s cheek.]
Do you need to lock me in?
[Tav has come to understand that Gale doesn’t want him out of his sight for some reason but a locked door might be just as good.]
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Date: 2023-10-14 08:56 pm (UTC)He wants happiness so aggressively, wants Tav to remember him, wants the feeling of being cared for above anyone else. Wants to be in Waterdeep, with Tara, enjoying peace.
He deserves that, doesn't he?
Doesn't he?
Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he needs to earn it. He's already failed once, after making a promise.
The selfish desire to run, to take Tav and run right now, wars with his self-esteem.
If the other man remembered, what would he have wanted? He'd have wanted to help, surely? So then, of course, Gale would have stayed by his side.
Yet what if they cannot win? What if the only option ends up the Netherese Orb in his chest? ]
Well of course they need me, a wizard of my renown. Without me to hold them together I have the unfortunate suspicion they would struggle.
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Date: 2023-10-14 09:03 pm (UTC)He also understands that he's not well enough to go with Gale. He barely has his own name on his tongue, much less how to use a sword or cast a spell. In the fight looming ahead, he would be a distraction, a liability.]
And I suspect you would want me to stay. [Tav bows his head for a moment or two, brushing away the blood that seeps from his nose when he does so.] I promise to stay safe.
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Date: 2023-10-14 09:43 pm (UTC)His heart plays a restless beat as he tries to envision all the outcomes. A world of endless possibilities, of roads not taken, of battles won and lost.
If they go and leave the prism here, they'll be out of its protection anyway. If they take the prism, they doom those they leave behind.
If the battle is lost, they all become mindflayers.
Gale lowers the cloth, hand lifting to touch Tav's face once more. ]
Do you still hear it? The voice?
[ Urging him into violence? ]
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Date: 2023-10-14 09:50 pm (UTC)[He is about to shut his eyes to think when Gale's fingers brush his face, ease over his cheek, and Tav allows himself to become distracted. This touch is so much kinder than any that he has ever known. Granted, he doesn't know many other touches than being cut with a knife innumerable times and a thin blade in his ear, but he desires more of it, desires more of Gale.
For a moment, he allows himself to watch Gale, to study those brown eyes and search his scattered memories for something. The mention of the voice actually brings forth a memory, a rather unpleasant one.]
I tried to kill you once. [His breath hitches in his chest. That must be the voice Gale is talking about, the one urging him to split Gale open, to paint the ground with his blood.] N-no I don't hear that voice.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-14 11:30 pm (UTC)Try being the operative word. My knots held you steady, no matter how much you longed to make a necklace of my eyeballs.
[ His thumb continues to gently rub over Tav's skin in soothing strokes. ]
I don't hold it against you. I know it wasn't what you wanted.
[ He remembers, vividly, the rest of what had been said.
No matter what I say after these next few minutes, I love you, Gale.
He believes him. He'll hold onto that. ]
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Date: 2023-10-14 11:37 pm (UTC)There's a knock at the door and the tiefling-- Karlach, he's come to know-- pushes her head in.]
Soldier, [She nods to Tav, who stares blankly at her. She then turns to Gale, the heat of the upcoming battle in her words.] It's time, Gale.
[Tav turns back to Gale and allows his hand to slowly drop away.] Lock the door anyway? Just in case.
[He doesn't want there to be the slightest chance that a voice might call him away from the safety of the Elfsong.] I'll see you on the other side.
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